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The time has come… After three months of scraping walls, burning sticks, cleaning trash, posting promotions, gardening, and so much more, it’s now my time to leave Mrachenik behind.
I’m not going to lie, when I was writing my mid-term evaluation a little over a month ago, I wasn’t in the best mental state. Moving and working abroad had been rough so far, and I was the loneliest I had ever been in my life, no contest. I had cried daily for two and a half weeks and was only starting to feel a little better as I was writing. It was a huge contrast from my usual jolly self back home.
Between then and now, something weird happened: one day I woke up and simply felt amazing. I have no idea why, but this feeling has continued ever since, and I’ve now been basically as happy as I was in Finland. My best theory is that my brain finally finished processing all the homesickness, but honestly, your guess is as good as mine. I’m not complaining, though, the shift in my mental state has made it possible to live away from home and enjoy it, not just survive.
Aside from this, there haven’t been any new major discoveries I’ve made in this second half of my volunteering. I have improved a BUNCH with the stuff I already laid out in the mid-term, though; I’m more efficient at communication, less afraid of confrontation, more self-sufficient, overall just a better person. I also followed up on the plans I made in my mid-term evaluation; I now take much better care of my hygiene, eat regularly, and plan my week more than before. Exact weekly plans were a nice idea, but I think my brain needs some free time without scheduled activities. I’m glad I tried it, though!
So what now? I’m glad you asked, me! Thanks, me! No problem, me!
I’ve just come back from a training course in Czech Republic, and am now residing in Sofia. I have a few vacation days, during which I’ll go see some sights and use my amazing Bulgarian skills to communicate with people like a native (I know about 50 words in Bulgarian). After that I’ll be going back home, where more challenges await me; one of them being not falling back into my old habits, but instead using everything I learned in Mrachenik to build a better life for myself. It’ll still be a few months before university begins, and during that time, I want to focus my energy on making as much art as humanly possible. If nothing comes of it (which might be likely), I’ll study philosophy with the goal of becoming a teacher.
There’s no doubt there will be struggles in the future, and Finland is far from a perfect place to live. Something I learned here, though, is that my heart belongs in my home country, alongside my friends and family. I could probably learn to belong here, as well as anywhere, but I have an amazing, pre-established community back home, and I don’t think I’ll be leaving it in a while after this. That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed or don’t appreciate my time or the people here—quite the opposite, actually. The team at Smokinya Foundation are kind, smart, incredible, and responsible for so much of my growth as a person. I am so grateful for everyone I’ve met during my journey. You’ve been lovely babes!
It’s funny… during my stay, there were many days when I was counting the minutes, hoping they’d pass faster. Now I’m at the end, and suddenly I don’t want to admit that it’s over…
Alright, well. That’s it from me, most likely for good. See you around!
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Финансирано от Европейския съюз. Изразените възгледи и мнения обаче принадлежат изцяло на техния(ите) автор(и) и не отразяват непременно възгледите и мненията на Европейския съюз или на Европейската изпълнителна агенция за образование и култура (EACEA). За тях не носи отговорност нито Европейският съюз, нито EACEA.
Funded by the European Union. Views and opinions expressed are however those of the author(s) only and do not necessarily reflect those of the European Union or the European Education and Culture Executive Agency (EACEA). Neither the European Union nor EACEA can be held responsible for them.
